5 Years

Ya know what phrase I (like many of the Millennial generation) are haunted by?

Once-in-a-generation

Millennials collect once-in-a-generation situations like they’re freakin’ Pokémon (of which there are still only the 150 that I can confidently recall after too many mornings singing along to the Pokérap…151 if you just have to count Mew).

And five years ago, we were in the middle of adding our latest to the collection with the rapid spread of COVID-19.

Through text message only weeks prior, I had been terminated from my previous position, dealing a healthy dose of fear of the unknown in at least two major ways that I hadn’t counted on at the start of 2020.

I was also feeling pretty beaten down mentally and physically, a fact that seems so very obvious in retrospect, especially as I think back to the case of shingles (!) I developed in February 2020. It was only later I learned that shingles (coming from a reactivation of the chicken pox virus I contracted from, my parents thought, a ball pit at Roy Rogers in the 90s) can be brought on by the combination of stress and a weakened immune system.

So…things weren’t looking or feeling so hopeful or manageable.

Regardless, I kept moving forward. At the time, if you had asked me why, I would have asked you what other choice I had. For most of my life, I’ve been toxically independent, finding myself in near-constant survival mode, which would take a few years of intentional therapy to begin retreating from. In 2020, though, I was still deep in it.

Despite some folx thinking that the plans for what would become Safe Pass were already well-developed by the time I received that disgusting text on March 22, 2020, my interview for an Assistant Manager position at Chipotle (which I didn’t get) would say otherwise. I don’t know how to be unemployed, and I don’t know how to sit still. So, with the gyms closed, I started running up and down Ridgebury Boulevard everyday, rain or shine.

One of my closely held mantras? “Run only if being chased.” This time, I was the one doing the chasing, so exceptions can obviously be made (despite my ankles consistently swelling to the size of softballs. And yes…I bought the right shoes. This body just isn’t made for high impact movement.)

On those runs (ok…some devolved into the kind of arm swinging mall walking of the grandmas of yesteryear), I listened to audiobooks and podcasts about life, leadership, and business for as long as I could before retreating to Lady Gaga’s Chromatica for the umpteenth time. Mixed with a healthy dose of encouragement from folx whose belief in me echos even today, Safe Pass began taking form.

Auto financing. Business loans. Establishing the LLC. Signing a 5 (!) year lease. All while figuring out how to navigate a world filled with more uncertainty than many of us had ever known. (How were students and I even going to be able to share a vehicle with one another when ever breathing was dangerous?!)

Still, we kept moving forward.

And why the name “Safe Pass”? After serving thousands of students and their families, I came to resent the emphasis that too many put on passing the driving test on the first attempt, erroneously equating that achievement with safe driving. (How many driving “schools” out there like to tout how many of their students pass the test on the first attempt as an indicator of success?) Just ask the teen (not one of mine!) who wrapped their car around a pole only hours after getting their license! Safe driving should always come first. Passing the test should be incidental.

Priority 1: Safe driving
Priority 2: Pass the test

There you go.

Over the past 5 years, though, Safe Pass has become so much more than I could have imagined. During a period when it has been most needed, Safe Pass has found its mission in providing an environment in which our students can learn and thrive and succeed and present as their authentic selves. Our Instructors regularly cite their own growth and sense of purpose as proof of our little driving school being that for them as well.

As it has been for me.

5 years ago, everything was so very different for me…different name & pronouns, many more polos and khakis, much shorter hair, 2 tattoos and a bunch of closed holes in my ears, a 70+ hour (for someone else) workweek, and an unhealthy desire to become whatever others expected me to be, striving to achieve high standards of success as defined by those who would settle for mediocre for themselves.

And now?

Now, I sit in the bright and welcoming Safe Pass classroom, waiting for our incredible Instructors to return from a full day of lessons, knowing that they have and continue to change the lives of our students for the better, one lesson at a time.

I’m thinking about the thousands of students and families who have welcomed us into their lives…some because they live close to our classroom, some because we popped up in a Google search or responded to their text (yes…we loathe taking unexpected phone calls…but we’re happy to schedule them!), and some…some who travel an hour+ for classes and lessons.

Whether near or far, we are most grateful for our students and their families who choose Safe Pass with the kind of intention that we wish they didn’t have to show…the kind of intention that requires verifying the safety of a learning environment before stepping into it, the kind of intention that’s indicative of a trust that is earned rather than given, the kind of intention shown by a teen or adult who feels safer around a Pride flag than they do anywhere near a MAGA hat.

Our values are no secret. We’re for safety, education, community, connection, accessibility, diversity, equity, inclusion, and a recognition of the humanity that we should all strive to honor and to celebrate in one another.

While we’re nowhere near perfect in any of these areas, we’ll continue learning from our students and their families, celebrating their stories while continuing to show our gratitude for welcoming us into their lives.

We’ll also continue showing up to fight for those values and for our community. We’re learning to love Market Square Park more and more these days and get so excited when we see our students and their families there with the same mission.

I, like many Millennials, have found myself in more “once-in-a-generation” situations than I’ve bargained for. And I and my team of educators stand on the shoulders of folx who, upon finding themselves experiencing something similar, rose to the occasion…folx who fought for our country, who fought for equal rights, who fought to be seen and heard, who fought for meds in the middle of a plague, who fought for the ability to be their authentic selves in every setting.

And it is our eternal gratitude for these individuals that lives at the heart of what we strive to provide for our students and how we strive to provide it.

Neither I nor Safe Pass are standing idly by; we hope the same is true for you. And while we probably won’t change the world, we will keep showing up for our communities and for the students and families who need us most.

My name is Max, and I’m one of the they/thems you’ve been warned about. I’m trans nonbinary, AuDHD, queer, and other labels that I was told would hold me back from impacting my community and from what some would define as “success”. I’m working each day to educate, to serve, and to show others that actions speak louder than words.

And I’m not doing it alone.

This post is dedicated to the students and families who took a chance on our fledging driving school in 2020…in the middle of a pandemic…when so much seemed uncertain…and to those students and families who currently find themselves in the crosshairs of a culture war (again) and yet keep moving forward, trusting us to take the journey of a lifetime with them…

Stay as safe as you can, friends. All our love 💚

🌺 Max